#2 The Inspector Comes
This is a multi-edition short story series about a teenage boy who works for a food truck that traverses New Jersey summer after summer. Ryan is a 17 year old who works for Food Wagon LLC, a traveling food truck run by Eli, a 40 year old entrepreneur.
At least once during the summer season, food truck vendors in Monmouth County get a visit from the Health Inspector. Food Wagon had a permanent summer spot at Seawatch Beach in Manasquan, NJ. Eli had been on alert for a couple of weeks now, waiting for the professional to come to the window. Every ride to the truck included a reminder on what to do and how to keep the truck in top shape. This day Eli picked up Ryan about a half hour late and then the two set-out to pick up another member of the crew, Smokie. Smokie, was about 30, worked for Eli for a couple of years, and was close friends with him now. Smokie lived locally and was proud of his brief stay in California a number of years back.
“What’s up Smokie” Eli said.
“Hey guys” Smokie said, wearing his bucket hat and carrying a jar of sweet tea.
“Good morning” Ryan said.
The crew drove onto the parkway and headed north.
“So, like I said before, the health inspector might come today. I think we are good. I told you guys what to do, right?”
“Yeah, I know, soap on your hands, then rinse for 10 seconds.” Smokie repeated this line over and over, word for word, whether you asked for him to or not. “I will tell Ryan what to do, we will fill up the water tank and set up the sink.”
Ryan thought about what Smokie said and was hoping this inspector was generous and not like the ones portrayed on television.
Through Brick, Brielle, and into Squan, they drove through picture perfect neighborhoods, grand beach houses, and beautiful views of the water.
Smokie and Eli were passing jokes, Ryan chimed in every now and then.
“I have another gig today, so it is just you and Smokie today, Ryan.”
“Ok, sounds good.” Ryan answered back.
They passed through the beach areas and the town always filled up with bike riders, families, and rowdy teenagers. Porches along the road are filled with dudes posing to the passing women, the men play rap music or turn up classic rock. During the week there are a great deal of senior citizens as well, many of whom congregate in friend groups. There are only a few stores, mostly food related, the competition. They reach Seawatch, everyone hops out and heads to unlock the parked truck. Eli wiggled the door open, the truck smelled of french fries and cooked meats, it started to warm up under the sun.
“So just watch the surfaces, set up the sink, get that tank filled, and we should be golden.” Eli says quickly, satisfied with his orders.
“Yeah, we got it” Smokie assured Eli.
“Yeah” Ryan said worried about being able to do all of this before a potential unannounced visit.
“Well, I have to run home and get set up for this event that is soon, good luck” Eli disappeared and then his GMC pulled away.
“Bye Eli!” Smokie yells
“Bye!” Ryan repeats.
“Alright help me turn this stove and fryer on” Smokie looked at Ryan. “Get the lighter”
Ryan searches the bins and pulls out the crusty blue lighter.
“Alright, now what” Ryan asks.
“Start with the stove, turn the knob and hold the lighter over the pilot light, it should go.”
The stove ignites, that was the easy part.
The fryer, that thing was an antiquity in the food equipment world, at least 30 years old. Eli had been trying to perfect the machine for years. When it turns on, a huge fireball ignites under it and up the vent in the rear. One time Smokie and Ryan started a small fire by leaving a box close to it. Ryan noticed it and Smokie ran to the sink, Ryan put it out with a Poland Spring bottle full of water.
“Let’s not do that again.” Smokie said.
“Um, ok.” Ryan agreed.
Today, the task was getting this tool to just turn on. Eli had this magic touch that the other members of the group struggled to replicate. Ryan twisted the starter, held the flame over the pilot, but every time he let go, the pilot would go out again. Ugh!!!!! Ryan hated this crouching routine in which he was staring into the greasy bellows of the fryer, close to the greasy floor, holding a greasy lighter, waiting for the fireball to set his eyebrows on fire.
“It is not going” Ryan would tell Smokie.
“Just hold it down and wait, it takes a couple of minutes.”
“Ok”
Eventually, after 20 minutes of sitting and waiting, Smokie took over and Ryan backed away. Smokie spent about 5 minutes on the pilot and then it shot on, flames and all.
Customers had been inquiring when the food would be ready the whole time and Smokie would give the same explanation every time.
“Can I put the menu out?” Ryan asked that question every time he was with Smokie, but Smokie insisted on waiting till they were ready, this was even though people complained about not knowing what was going to be served.
“Just wait till the stove top is hot, and this fryer needs to be raging.” Smokie claimed.
“Ok” Ryan says as he sneaks the board back into the truck after setting it out so nicely.
It took about another fifteen minutes to get everything going, it was 11:30, hunger had descended on the beach at Manasquan. Food Wagon was nearly ready.
“Hey, go get the hose and fill up the water tank Ryan, before we forget to do it and it gets really busy.”
“Yeah.” Ryan got the hose out from under the truck and connected it to the tank spout. The hose, from being left to the elements, is a bit stiff. Ryan is embarrassing himself as he tries to untangle the 30 foot length tube. People stare as he wrestles and makes faces at his now sandy hands. It is good enough now, Ryan pulls it around the neighboring lifeguard building and gets the hose attached to the pipe under the lifted building. A turn of the valve and water began gushing through the hose to the big truck on the other side. Ryan nods in self approval and walks back to the rig, the tank on the inside is slowly filling.
“Is it filling?” Ryan asked Smokie.
“Yeah, you are good.” Smokie was messing with the grill, starting to fill orders.
Ryan took some orders, moved to the fryer, switching with Smokie.
When Smokie was at the window he started talking to a female voice. Ryan turned around and Smokie was welcoming a woman in a polo and khakis onto the truck.
“Hi” Ryan said at the stove top.
“Hi” She said back.
“Here we go, let the Smokie Games begin.” Ryan thought to himself.
“This is our fridge, lots of room, meats on the top right, cheese on the bottom right, vegetables on the left.”
She took notes.
Smokie was more worried about hitting on the inspector than his surroundings while the teenager who barely uses the stove was manning the stove! Ryan kept one eye of the two people walking around taking up arm room on the truck, and one eye on the food cooking. Ryan was not perfect at this stuff yet and was nervous about burning a bun or grilled cheese. The inspector takes the temperature of the fridge and freezer.
“The fridge is too warm, you have to fix that.” She said.
“Yeah, our boss is not here right now, but I can call him if you want me too.”
“No, you don’t have to call him, just tell him to be here next time.” She explained to Smokie.
THERE WAS GOING TO BE A NEXT TIME, ELI WILL NOT BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
They moved to the sink station. The sink station consisted of three separate bays or basins under a massive water tank on a homemade wood shelf with metal straps screwed into the sidewall of the truck. When half full, the tank sags down. Next to the three bay is a small hand sink that is screwed into the back door. Under this setup on the floor is a plug-in water heater and a pump to run the sink. A small bucket was there too, if things went south. The heater and pump had to be plugged in and unplugged when not in use. The sinks are so small the floor gets wet, the plugs touch the floor and get wet themselves. Basically, when you plug-in the equipment you risk getting zapped to death. Smokie and Ryan never got to setting up the sink, so when Smokie got to the station he tried to explain the situation to the inspector.
“We just got here and we did not get to this yet and we know what to do. Wash, Rinse, Dry, three bays. One bleach tablet, we have a sponge.”
“Ok, you need to get this set-up” She cut Smokie off.
Ryan was cooking, the inspector and Smokie were talking. A small sizzle noise comes off the stove, tiny droplets touch the neck of Ryan, Ryan thinks about what could be happening.
“Oh!” Smokie yells
“Oh!” the inspector yells
“Oh!” Ryan yells.
“THE WATER TANK!!!!!!!!!!” Smokie blurts out.
THE WATER TANK WAS BEING FILLED THE WHOLE TIME AND NOW IT WAS SHOOTING WATER OUT OF THE TOP ALL OVER THE BACK OF THE TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smokie makes a run for the door “I got it!”
Ryan’s face turns red as him and the inspector are left getting sprayed with water, the fryer is screaming because of all the water being boiled, the stove is at a loud sizzle with pools of water on top, the floor is a pool of water and one wrong step will lead to a wipe out, the countertops were wet. Ryan reached for paper towels and in a sad attempt, began to clean up as the water kept spraying them. Ryan did not say much save a few mumbles of “Great” and “Ugh”, nor did the inspector make a sound, she stepped out of the way. Outside Smokie is seen running around the truck turning off the tank spout and then he runs to the lifeguard house to turn the valve there too. One sheet at a time, Ryan makes no progress on cleaning up the sad scene. The inspector wipes her face. Smokie comes back in panting and flustered.
“We forgot we were filling the water tank, we are so sorry.” Smokie looks at the health inspector.
“It is alright, this is not the worst thing that I have been sprayed with.” She tells him.
Everyone starts laughing. Ryan is still doing his sad paper towel dance, the fryer and stove have begun to quiet down, all three of them have soaked shirts and hair. The tank was filled now, though, so that was good.
“Well, I think I should go.” The inspector handed them a temporary satisfaction, which was probably out of pity for the two gubers.
“Ok, bye, sorry, have a good day.” Smokie said.
“Bye.” Ryan said, trying not to laugh.
She was gone, the two looked at each other.
“That was good.” Ryan said with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, let’s not do that again. She was a cutie though.” Smokie said.
Ryan tried not to laugh at Smokie’s focus at the moment and just went back to the paper towel clean up.
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